2) Don’t get caught up in the dramas in your life. Stop wasting time on the frivolous things in life. It’s okay to have fun, but don’t let yourself get too entangled on that too much.
3) Learn to forgive.
4) There are more important things besides finding a boyfriend, wearing makeup, having the right clothes, and looking perfect.
5) Stop tracking your weight too much. You’re more than a number. Remember your weight includes your bones, muscles, etc. It’s not all fat.
6) Fat is important – don’t forget that too. You need to have some fat in you for energy storage amongst other things.
7) High school can be the best four years of your life, but don’t let that idea drive those four years.
8) That also applies to college.
9) Getting a low grade in that one class (or two) does not mean it’s the end of the world. You’ll live. Don’t let a letter dictate the rest of your school days. Trust me, it’s not worth it.
10) You’ll get all kinds of blemishes. That kind of goes with puberty.
11) That guy might not like you right now, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t good enough, pretty enough, or anything in that nature. A guy should never be a measurement of your worth and beauty.
12) Stop beating yourself up for eating that damn chocolate.
13) Laugh at yourself. Laugh when you trip over your own feet. Laugh when you spill something on yourself. Laugh when you stumble over words. There’s no need to be serious all the time.
14) It’s okay to cry.
15) You don’t have to have everything (or most things) figured out. Make mistakes. Fall down. It’s all okay.
16) Superficiality is overrated. Stop trying to change yourself in order to fit in and have people like you. The right ones will like you for who you are, and the others can go to hell.
17) Take some time alone.
18) Do things because you want to. Do them because you’re interested in them. Do them because they bring you happiness or satisfaction. Do things because people tell you that you can’t.
19) Don’t get attached with the idea of adulthood or being all grown up. It’s not all sunshine and daisies.
20) Live. "
let’s spend our week nights eating cereal on the floor
when there is a perfectly fine table behind us.
we can go to the movies and sit in the back row
just to make out like kids falling in love for the first time.
we’ll paint the rooms of our house
and get more paint on us than the walls.
we can hold hands and go to parties we end up
ditching to drink wine out of the bottle in the bathtub.
and slow dance with me in our bedroom
with an unmade bed and candles on the nightstand.
let me love you forever.
all women were bigger and stronger than you
and thought they were smarter
women were the ones who started wars
too many of your friends had been raped by women wielding giant dildos
and no K-Y Jelly
the state trooper
who pulled you over on the New Jersey Turnpike
was a woman
and carried a gun
the ability to menstruate
was the prerequisite for most high-paying jobs
your attractiveness to women depended
on the size of your penis
every time women saw you
they’d hoot and make jerking motions with their hands
women were always making jokes
about how ugly penises are
and how bad sperm tastes
you had to explain what’s wrong with your car
to big sweaty women with greasy hands
who stared at your crotch
in a garage where you are surrounded
by posters of naked men with hard-ons
men’s magazines featured cover photos
of 14-year-old boys
tucked into the front of their jeans
and articles like:
“How to tell if your wife is unfaithful”
“What your doctor won’t tell you about your prostate”
“The truth about impotence”
the doctor who examined your prostate
was a woman
and called you “Honey”
you had to inhale your boss’s stale cigar breath
as she insisted that sleeping with her
was part of the job
you couldn’t get away because
the company dress code required
you wear shoes
designed to keep you from running
And what if
after all that
women still wanted you
to love them.